Are you a little scared to meet someone new? A little uncomfortable? Not sure if you’ll be able to help or say the right things?

Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Think about the following situation:

Imagine that you were born many years ago, before TVs, the Internet, computers, email, IMing, etc. You lived for many years with close friends and family, worked for many years and were happy. Now some of the memories are fading, and names and details are getting a little fuzzy.

Important people who were close to you have passed on, moved away or become critically sick through the years. Once you were independent and strong, able to do everything, answer all of the questions, and give advice. But now your answers don’t always seem important or they don’t come as quickly.

There are strange ways of doing things that you don’t quite understand. Life was simpler when you were younger, and now everything seems so complicated.

Talk with your family about this situation. If this were you, what would you feel and experience? What are your biggest challenges that you might need help with?

Have members of your family write your own “Someone else’s shoes” story. You can tailor your stories to the volunteer experiences you are interested in having. Discuss people’s feelings and challenges.

Reflect upon a time when you needed help from other people.

• What did you want people to say to you?
• How did people help you the most?
• What were the positive things in others’ actions that you could imitate?

While these may be helpful exercises to get started and understand others’ needs at one level, we can never know someone’s challenges simply from using our imagination. Since everyone is different, we can’t know what is best for someone else until we know her better. Often the best way to find out how to help someone is to be a friend and learn from her what she needs. Spending time together can create valuable, shared experiences that are crucial for meaningful service.

Also see Emily Jensen’s Advice for ideas about how to treat people. Her comments can be applied to people in many circumstances, and particularly people who may have health challenges or disabilities.